Sunday 5 December 2010

22. Breathe Me

Recently I've found I am asking myself the same question "What type of person are you?" Because there are only two types in my book, the ones who talk and the ones who do and I've never liked those kind of people who only give a good lip service. The reason why I don't like them is because once you've learned a certain attitude it's hard to unlearn and I've always said you are who you surround yourself with! I'm a sponge, I've said it many times before, I'll soak up absolutely everything until I'm ready to explode and that's no-ones fault but mine, it's just how I am...

The point of this post? I've become a lip service. The worst thing is I'm only lip servicing myself, I wanted to review some of my favourite TV shows inbetween updating 'Night Crawlers' on ffnet and making banners for a cool website 'Bringing TVD to Canada' - Now with the artwork, it's been pretty difficult cause there has been snow and that equals bad internet connection!!!

What is my excuse for not writing?! I write everyday even if it can only be a few hundred words, I WRITE!

Currently, I'm doing nothing I set out to do, I'm finishing nothing I started and I keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow.

A week or more after my sister's 22nd birthday Oct 21st we learned that the Hodgkins Lymphoma was back, after about six solid months free of the diease it is claiming our lives again, she's barely an adult and she's having to go back to battle. I don't know if it's the unfairness of it all, the anger or fear that keeps me from being able to do the things that pump blood to my heart but I know there is no focus for anything else right now.

I want to get myself back on track, I want to be her armour, the support and strength that she needs but somehow I don't think a cold shower will do the trick. I know that writing has always been my support, my armour and strength, I just desperately need to find my way back to it because I've learned that my writing also helps her, most importantly we all feel healed by it.

This title is so fitting because I feel like this so often. I hope whoever is reading this if anyone that you actually take the time to check out the songs I name my posts after. I never pick songs randomly, they have all affected me in some way or another.

'Breathe Me' - For me this song speaks of my relationship with writing, my connection and how I'm affected when I'm disconnected from it.


Lyrics.

How I feel about myself - Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame



How I feel about my writing - Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me



Without writing - Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Go listen to the amazing song, and if you like, tell me why it affects you? Music speaks to all of us differently.

Title Info. Sia

Night,

ThaWriterzSoundtrack.



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Sunday 24 October 2010

21. My Vampire Heart

This an old post that I actually forgot to publish, so here it is.

A while has passed without a post, want to know what I've been doing? If the title is anything to go by you're already pretty sure what I'm going to talk about but I'm going to make this super quick.

1) I may or may not have mentioned that my baby was freezing excessively, so a bit of a advice for you, don't ever buy a Dell laptop.

2) Thank the heavens for my Blackberry, it's where all my chapters have been going until my baby is fixed.

3) I've started updating 'Night Crawlers' again, and I know exactly how it ends in my head but since baby has been throwing tantrums I haven't been able to update my latest chapter.

4) I applied to be a fan columnist on BuddyTV and didn't get it but I'm still smiling, I wanted the experience and enjoyed reviewing Smallville's comeback although I would've prefered my favourite vampire show. I was encouraged to try again when another opportunity arises.

5) My social life is somewhat back on track, meeting up with friends and hanging out bla bla.

6) Since I've turned my attention to scripts, I've been getting more ideas than I can use and it's exciting to daydream about one day having my own show. LOL - impossible is nothing, right?

On the real reason I wanted to post...



The Vampire Diaries - The Return

Yeah, I know a vampire show but unlike Glee I'm not slightly embarrassed and annoyed with myself for kind of liking it. If I didn't mention it before, Ian Somerhalder was my reason for watching, I've been watching the man since I was fifteen when he was in young Americans and I would die if he ever ended up playing my Avery Grim. ARGH!

Anyway, to my actual surprise I liked it instantly and not just because of Damon but because of the writing, it was fast pace and exciting and suspensful, good. The second half of the season had me well and truly hooked to an obssessive level, by obssessive I mean, watching live streams online so I could watch it with the rest of America instead of waiting for England to catch up.

The final minute of the finale was insane and the premiere of season 2 was even more crazy and I mean that in a completely good way. I was on the edge of my seat, sitting next my sister at one in the morning, while we grabbed on to each other every other minute in absolute shock, I loved every minute of it. Also, being a fan of Damon and Bonnie's partnership in the books, I was pleased to see they had a couple scenes in this episode not that the banter lasted.

Now we're heading towards episode four but thus far my favourite episode is the third 'Bad Moon Rising' and amazingly it's not because Damon and Elena were together for the whole thing with the addition of Alaric quite the contrary, I loved it because of the ones who were still in Mystic Falls. That is for another post though, I fully intend to write a review about it so I can fan girl over my favourite parts again, particularly the parts with Tyler and uncle Mason.

When it comes to vampires, why are we so easy to reel in? Well let's see, they're sexy immortals who are charming enough to lure you into a dark alley before rutlessly drainging the life out of you, we're attracted to the danger, the mystery and sometimes the soul within a monster.


Title info. Tom McRae.

Laterz,

ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Wednesday 11 August 2010

20. Calm Under The Waves

  
                                                          

She walks along the beach, golden sand crunching between her toes, there’s a breeze in the air that caresses her skin while the falling sun reflects in the ocean, and a smile warms her face as the water comes closer, higher, and heavier.



Her light summer dress clings to her waist and hugs her breasts; it’s what she wants, needs.


Then she’ll let go.



If only it would carry her away, leaving burdens of the heart to float from her soul.




She could let go.




The stories he told her about the ocean echo in the night as her eyes close and her arms spread like wings, welcoming the coming waves.


The lights ashore are supposed to fade away, along with her memories and the pain is supposed to stop along with her heart.


Instead, the sound of the ocean crashing swells the heart that aches so much as it takes her back home, to shore, to life without him.


The ocean never takes her with it, and she’s left to wonder where it goes and if it’ll ever come back for her, to save her.




She wants to sink but she floats.




She wants to die yet she lives.




But, tomorrow at the same time she’ll seek calm under the waves.

Tuesday 10 August 2010

19. Apparently Unaffected

There are days when things really get to me and then there are days when those same things won't even get a flinch out of me, on those apparently unaffected days I find myself asking what the difference is with me. Why do I stop reacting?

Is it my ego?


Since my sister was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma life has been very different, and we've all been different personalities but sometimes there'll be glimpses of the old us, my sister in particular has changed a lot of course, there's no way you get cancer and don't change. But, it's on the good days that I remember the girl before the illness, the one who used to make me laugh so hard I'd choke or carry me away with her singing.

There's not much of that right now, and I know the doctor said it would take up to a year for her to feel normal again but my patience sometimes wavers, I'm like a sponge, I soak up the moods of the ones around me and chemo would leave her really drained and sick in turn leaving me the same. She gets really low, and I mean really low and unresponsive, sometimes tearful, after everything that's happened to her I can't blame her either but sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. The emotion is too powerful to hide from, it fills the whole house and once I'm affected EVERYONE else is affected. Why?


I'm the strong one, I didn't give myself the role, it kind of just happened from a young age and with everyone falling apart I knew if I did too then the fight would be over before it had begun so I became comic relief, I didn't let anyone cry for long without making them laugh. After a while it became habit and I didn't know how to cry even when I was absolutely devastated or falling to pieces, writing has always been my survival and so I relied on that to keep me from giving up on myself.


Now I figure that the difference is my ego. I sometimes forget that it is normal for my sister to have mood swings and on those days where I'm affected by it and react I realize that it's my ego not allowing me to let it go. If I take the time to remember what she's been through, what we've all been through the past two years than I can let it go, and I do when I remember but sometimes it seems so unreal, like it didn't happen to her, us.

The days that I do forget that it happened to us are the days that I'm affected by everything, from her moods to my step dad laughing too loud but when I remember to appreciate the lesson and the journey I realize what's worth my reaction.

I guess what I'm saying is trials and tribulations really do show us what matters and what doesn't, some of us spend too much time being angry or hateful that we forget to focus on the love with have for those close. 50 Cent said 'Some days wouldn't special, if it wasn't for rain, joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain.' that's something I hope to keep reminding myself of it every day!


On a good note, I’m helping my sister write her story and it’s called ‘Rule The World’ I know, right? I’m a very busy girl but I seem to live better in chaos, stressed and zombified.



I usually have a short fuse, today, I'm apparently unaffected.





Title info. Maria Mena





Peace,





ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Wednesday 28 July 2010

18. Turn To Stone

 Max Stone


Detective Max Stone opened the door to his half empty apartment and kicked off his shoes; he walked over to his sofa and slumped on it. Using his left hand, he dug the remote control from the back of his sofa and switched the widescreen television on, channel after channel he switched, hoping he could get Mckayla’s face out of his head. Stone had looked like her before, felt like he imagined she did, in a cold dirty well where he could never climb out, while people walked right by and couldn’t hear the yells, and they would search once they did but they’d never look down.


The beauty of San Francisco was shut out by Stone's dark blinds, to Bryan he was just a weird wanna be emo shutting out the world, but what he didn't know was that Stone suffered from terrible headaches since a child. Headaches that made his head feel like it was going to explode, and the only way he knew how to make it hurt less or go away was to work out hard, doing push ups or hiding behind his blinds. He was one of the few who didn't wear dark shades to reinvent himself as Neo Anderson.


He wasn't just a cop, a detective, he was stone. Forever running from a past that was faster at catching up than he was at leaving it behind; he hadn't been called by his name in nearly two years, since his last relationship. He didn't have many friends, apart from colleagues, and they all referred to each other by their last names, he'd almost forgotten his name wasn't Stone, almost forgot he was not stone.




Tile info. Joe Walsh


Annyeong,



ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Monday 26 July 2010

17. Little Of Your Time

I'm so annoyed with myself for promising people I care about time and never actually getting around to spending time with them, I have the greatest friends in the world who love me and are already so patient and encouraging. I'm beginning to worry that I'll lose the best ones, I mean everyone has two sets of friends, the ones you talk to casually and catch once in a while and then you have the ones you adore and feel like something is missing if you haven't spoken to them for a bit. Sometimes those casual friends grow into the ones you adore too.

I only have a handful of those friends I wish I could put in my pocket and keep them forever but we all have our own lives and paths to follow, I have one in particular right now that I'm missing terribly. There was a point where we spoke everyday even if it was just for a few hours, and now we're lucky if we chat longer than ten minutes.

Now, she's an actress, a successful one too so her time is limited anyway and she has kids too but I miss her is all I'm saying, and sometimes I just want to be childish and stomp my feet. She's very special to me, an amazing writer who constantly inspires me, intelligent, funny, protective and ambitious with gorgeous kids ta boot!

Wanting some of her time, it just made me realize how some of my other friends feel when they say they miss me and want some of my time. But as Miss Jia said, if you can make time to eat, sleep and shit then you can take a little time out for the ones you appreciate! Besides, I need to get out more because on I'm this thing way too much and it's not healthy, if I'm not writing then I'm watching TV or running around after my nephews. At the end of the day, I always feel bad for not emailing, txting or calling anyone back, I haven't been a very good fried lately, if I want time then I'm going to have to give time.

And I need to get my social life back on track, not that I'm a club person. I'm more of a theatre, live music, concert or festival  kinda gal. So, on my already epically long list of things to do I'll be adding 'Take time out for friends'

Apart from the above rant, I had a pretty lazy sunday. = D



Tile info. Maroon 5



Adios,



ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Saturday 24 July 2010

16. One Part Love

I'm here, I'm still alive, yay. I've been looking in all my old diaries trying to figure why I thought being able to stay up so late or shall I say early was so damn cool, yes I'm a writer and I work better at night but there is a big difference between nocturnal and insomnia, right now I'm suffering from the latter and the heat isn't helping.

I roll around get twisted in the sheets while music plays in the background, and no that's not why I can't sleep, one of the reasons I can't sleep is because that's when the voices in my head are the freakin' loudest, not that I can blame them cause' I can barely hear them during the day with my lot around.

And, when I do sleep it's not for long because I can't get comfortable, if I use three pillows I wake up stiff and if I use one or none I wake up stiff, what hell am I supposed to do? Ugh. Oh and on top of that my brand new laptop, as in a month old is already pissing about and 'Not responding' on me. Why me???

So, as you can imagine I'm not the nicest person to be around when I wake up.

Anywho, while watching one of my favourite shows 'Leverage - The Studio Job' I realized something, I was sitting there getting desperate to see Hardison and Parker fall for each other, it was already there, I wasn't willing it to happen because I'm a hopeless romantic but once I saw the chemistry there I couldn't help but watch one after another hoping they'd both admit their feelings. I realized that whether it plays a big part or a small part there's LOVE in every story, there's a special partnership that you love, relate to or envy, there's that banter that one else can do.

Some of my favourites are:

Leverage - Hardison/ Parker & Nate/Sophie & Hardison/Eliot
Psych - Shawn & Gus
House - House & Wilson
Supernatural - Sam & Dean




Ultmately it's the partnerships, the fighting and making up that makes us watch, or at least that's what makes me watch. Also, just to throw it out there Bromance should have it's own genre because that's another favourite of mine, watching guys who love each other act like they hate each other, but you can see one would be lost without other, and without any sexual connotation. Damn you, slash writers. LOL!

If you don't believe me look for yourself, watch your favourtie shows, there's a partnership you're attached to and they're what makes you pay attention to the story in the first place.

Be it a thriller, cop show, comedy, drama or sci fi being bold or lurking somewhere is One Part Love.




Title Info. Jeffrey Foucault




Zàijiàn,





ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Thursday 15 July 2010

15. Question Existing

Wow.

Yeah, since I actually started planning to write a script I've been saying that. I'm not one to run from a challenge but hell, this is harder than I thought it was going to be, like I said in another post I started out writing scripts, or at least that's what I called them. It turns out they were just coversations, I've read a lot of scripts over the past few days, mostly pilots and now I'm asking myself if I can actually write one.

Sure, I can learn how to write out a script in the correct format using EXT. Parking Lot - Night and INT. Taxi - Night but what about the actually story? I don't know if I've done the right thing reading as much as I have, I know I have a tendency to overwhelm myself with information but I like to know what I'm getting myself into.

I still want to and am going to do it, as a child I first wanted to be a cartoonist and then moved on to actually wanting to make movies so I've always had pictures clear in my mind when writing, and could always imagine the music playing over a particularly emotional or chaotic scene. I love movies, so learning about screenwriting is essential for me as a writer, especially one who benefits from learning different writing styles.

I'm going to strart by writing a TV script and the first rule is, watch more TV. I love research but I hated homework as a teen, now if they'd said go home and research what household chemicals could make acid bombs, you know, in case one of your character's decides to blow something up, I think I would have faired better in the homework department.

Of course, while in school it didn't actually occure to me that as a writer knowing a little of everything would be helpful. LOL - Duh.

So, lots of TV. Shouldn't be too hard, I went on TV.com to check out the most popular dramas and highest rated dramas, House ranked No.1 on both lists, so I guess he goes on my list too. I was mostly looking for shows that fell in the same category as Behind The Bar, which meant I had to cross out all the sci fi/fantasies, detective/cop shows and law, that means Merlin, Cold Case and The Good Wife are out amongst others. A few other shows I skipped on because I didn't like titles like Make it or Break it - I did a quick Wiki check and I still wasn't interested.

After Twilight, anything with 'Saga' attached is likely to get a miss so The Forsyte Saga was out. And, although Criminal Minds is right there at the top of my fav shows it' a criminal drama, I'm definitely going to give Persons Unknown a watch. But, the shows I've chosen for homework are *drum roll*

1. House
2. Breaking Bad
3. One Tree Hill
4. Gossip Girl
5. Castle
6. Six Feet Under

I should watch a few that I hate too so that means Gilmore Girls, Grey Anatomy which I don't hate by the way because I've never cared to watch it before now and Pimp my ride doesn't count as a programme I could study does it? I'm stuck, so I'm sticking with it. Hours and hours of guilt free tv? Win.

Questions that need asking, that I have to ask myself when I've finished answering it about these shows are what makes this different from the rest?

Why should anyone read/watch it? I had more to questions, but being tired is like being drunk for me. So, I guess I'll continue it in another post with a note to self not to expect anything I write to make sense after midnight. And, pay no mind to the time of post, I wrote this a few days ago at like 2am.

Question Existing. Can I write a good script?



Title Info. Rihanna





Deuces,





ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Saturday 10 July 2010

14. All I Do Is Win

                                                   

Today was interesting, I woke up feeling good, now to some that would sound odd but for me it doesn't happen often at all, I usually have to thaw out during the day, I rarely wake up feeling bright and ready for the world. So, I expected an email as you know from a producer I've been speaking to about writing for but I haven't heard anything back and it's friday.


I'm to assume I didn't get the writer's position, I think I hyped up fear of rejection so much that when it finally happened it didn't feel as bad as I thought that it would. I mean, yeah I'm bummed but I'm not devastated, I really wanted the opportunity to have the BBC under my belt of writing experience but it didn't work out that way. I did the same when getting my tattoo, I kept going on about how much it was going to hurt and when I sat down though it burned I didn't want to run away from it, the pain was bearable.

So why was I in a good mood? Professionally, it was my first rejection. I haven't recieved my rejection email as yet but after a week I know where it's going, and like I said in my last post I think it was rejection builds character. If I wasn't me, I would want to see what I was going to do next, after this black mark on my confidence? LOL

Hmm, I guess I'm going to keep writing like I said I would, if writing wasn't me than I would've given up a very long time ago, but the producer said when she emailed me about the interview that my writing was really good, and I should be glad to have gotten an interview because of how many applicantions they got. C'mon, feedback from someone who has written for theatre and is now the producer of an iconic soap's spin off? I'm pretty pleased with myself, it was validation that I am indeed a good writer. *Collective sighs* Yes, I know, my friends have told me and my family have told me, but I discussed them in an earlier post, sometimes the ones that love you lie.

So I've decided, I'm going to learn how to screenwrite, yep I want it on my list of 'Accomplishments' I'm still a novelist but I want to write a script, I actually started out writing scripts because I didn't know how to write novels correctly.

Nikki - Shut the hell up, was I talking to you?

Bryce - Well no, but I thought I should explain...

Nikki - Don't explain, leave me alone.

Bryce - Alright, fine.

Nikki - Fine.

Bryce - You want the last word, don't you?"

Nikki - That's usally how it works.

Nikki and Bryce walk separate way.

See, my script was pure dialogue and a little direction and not much of anything else, I just made that little scene up as an example but yeah, that's pretty much all I wrote, a bunch of conversations. Now, I want to learn how to structure a script correctly, and who knows I might just send some of them out for the fun of it without the secret 'hope' it becomes something more, I think I'd get a kick out them being sent back with a note or two. *shrug*

The end of a chapter, an experience, an opportunity. I'm moving on, while resisting the urge to write the boring story of a writer who tried to become a TV writer, LOL - Just kiddin' I couldn't sit through a boring story, even if I was the one writing it.

In other news, just a random declaration of love for Ed Norton. I like him as an actor, but there's also something about his face that I really like and I don't even know what it is. To name a few movies of his I liked, Fight Club of course, American History X (Even though he was a racist bitch throughout most it) Down the Valley? And Hulk.

Lastly, I'm a funny girl, and when I say that I'm not talking about making people laugh, I mean I have my ways about me that are, I don't know, odd. Well, if I told my sister what I'm about to tell you then she'd probably tell me...actually you don't want to know what she'd tell me because she's the devil on my shoulder.

Getting to the point, I usually write short scenes or do a quick collabrative story with someone when I've got mind block and I asked a friend if she'd be willing to write something out with me, she agreed which I was happy about and although we didn't set a specific time we pretty much knew when it was going to happen. Well, when it came to that time she didn't say anything and neither did I, you might say I should've just mentioned it again, reminded her of our agreement but here's where the funny comes in to it. I can't, and if she doesn't mention it I will never bring it up again, is that silly? Am I too proud?

I'm not sure I know what it is but if I ask someone to do something and they don't, for me that's the end of it and I move on and do what I have to do on my own. I'm not saying she's deliberately not bringing it up, I don't think she'd do that, she could even be waiting for me to bring it up again but I won't, I've always been this way.

I don't ask twice.

I think it's me automatically feeling like a burden once I've asked again, and it's also me not wanting to have to. Who knows? It's probably some deep seated child hood issue I haven't dealt with yet.

Right, so...challenge: Script

Why do I want to write a script?

Because I'm a writer and always will be, one day someone read and then I'll write some more until someone buys and sells, it's getting up and dusting my arse off after a 'No, Thank you' that makes me a winner.


Title Info. DJ Khaled.


Good Night, Good Morning,


ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Sunday 4 July 2010

13. I Shall Believe

Warning: Long, long post.
I came with an idea the other day for my online series 'Behind The Bar' but before that, I think I should update you on that writing gig for the BBC. In my 'Not Afraid' post I mentioned that I had an interview for the 29th, well you wouldn't believe the drama of that day.

First off, the travelling time was ridiculous, I hate public transport but I shouldn't really complain because I should've been driving ages ago but everything with me is at snail speed and I despise that mentality. Anyway, I should've checked the stations on the internet before I left but I thought I could just ask the ones that work at the train station, when I got there and asked the place I was going weren't even on the tube map. The lady had to leave her seat from behind the window and look in some other planner or whatever, then when she came back gave me this complicated route, a load of train change over's.

I did what she said and I was moving pretty quick from train to train, I had more than enough time on my hands to find this place because I left two hours before the interview time, like Drake said, better late than never but never late is better. So, I got to Farringdon changed platforms to the first connect or something national railway? I'm waiting, then I ask a man that was walking up and down the platform with those neon coloured waistcoats what train to get, I told him where I was going.

His response "You're on the wrong platform, love. You need the one opposite you, look out for the train you've got written down on your paper.' I thanked him and crossed over, looked at the board with all the stations on and thought I had the right train in mind. When it came I got on, had plenty of time still and sat back turning up my iPod on Trey Songz. (Yes, I kept my eyes open at every stop)

Time started to slip away from me, so now I'm sitting up checking the stops as we pass them but we're not stopping at some of them, some of which were written down on my info sheet, I kept my music on, because of course music makes me calm even if it's rock...well not really, that can sometimes hype me. I digress, so I'm looking at these stops, the train is semi packed, there are crying babies and chatter, next thing I know I've got ten minutes before I'm late for this interview.

I texted the production manager, I apologized and told her it was looking like I was going to be late and she said okay, as long as I could make it for 12:45pm because the producer had other business to tend to, I said yes. Wrong answer, this train wasn't stopping for anybody and I just had to sit there and not only be late but also past the time she had before she left.

I was in bits, kept texting back and forth between the manager and my sister. "I blew it," is what I sent my sis. The train starting stopping at stations again but it felt like half hour each time, then it stopped at Bedford and basically told everyone we were at the final destination. o.O

*insert cursing* I go over gates where the men are checking tickets and ask him about this studio, and he smiles you know, he smiles and says. "No love, that's all the way on the other side, you're in North," not only was I way past my destination which was far enough, I was a long, long way from home. (Love that song)

He tells me to get on the fast train that's just come in and get off at St. Albans, so I do. I'll give their trains on thing; they're classy, seats, tables, air con and very fast. Long story made short, I didn't make it and on the way back home I was pissed off with myself, one, I knew I should've checked the damn internet and two, I should be DRIVING! - LOL

I get home after six trains, three there and back and literally went to bed, I just crashed out because I was so tired, probably woke up an hour or so later when I heard my sisters in the living room making noise over football.

Interview Reschedule - Friday.

Text: Friday? This Friday? What time? And I got no response, so I assumed either it wasn't going to happen or it wasn't for this week.

Friday 2nd - I'm usually up by 8 every morning, weekends 10am. This particular Friday, I overslept o.O waking up to the sound of my phone going off, I open one eye and flip it open to read the text. It was from the producer asking me to come in for 3:30pm that afternoon, I took a pause and then looked at the time and it was 11am!

New & Improved Route: All I had to do is go 'WC' station which took me straight to 'Kings Cross/ St. Pancras International?? Am I kidding you? No, I kid you not; these arses at the stations don't know their own damn jobs. Two...TWO TRAINS! And I was there with minutes to spare.

Meeting & Pre Interview: I got my visitors badge, walked between the set of a very iconic soap that I've watched all my life, very surreal moment looking at props and family sets but moving on. I met the producer, she was very nice, friendly, pretty face, well dressed and welcoming. I followed her to her office and sat down, she asked me about travel and so on. Now, I don't know if you know but summer has arrived, so I may have looked good when I left my yard but I wasn't looking too good by the time I got to her, I excused myself and went to the bathroom, with her instructions of course and unlike many who are nervous pukers, I found out I was the opposite.

One of my characters, Lil, is a nervous girl, she's not a nervous puker either, she's a bubble guts and I became one too. *Cringe*

I did however, feel so much better going back to the office this time joined by another young girl, I sat down and said hi and we got talking while 'Miss producer' got our info from her computer, I was quite proud of myself but I'm not usually forward with new people.

Interview: 'How long have you been writing, what character would you like to see, how would you change this?'

These were the types of questions she asked me, I think I answered well enough; I was clear and confident because this is what I love to do. When I'm interviewed for a nursery Job, I stutter, I can't answer all of their questions about the current curriculum, all I can say is I love kids, I have a big family and I have this qualification.


It's so different though, when someone is asking you about your passion instead of your job, you don't want to get me started, I could talk all day about writing in general not just what I write. No matter what she asked me, I could answer because there's no wrong answer, it's all personal experience and for me writing is very personal, publicly personal if that makes sense.

We talked about the shows that I watched, a few that I mentioned she also liked which was cool but it was when she asked me how old I was I thought "Maaan," Now, when I applied I was twenty two years old by the time they replied back I was twenty three, they got in contact and gave me an interview date on my actual birthday. I think it's the only thing weighing against me, if I don't get called back to join the other writers it'll be because I was too old.

Can you believe that? I'm too old.

But, I shall believe I have a chance until I'm told otherwise. I will get the answer on Monday, and then I'll know what my next step is going to be. I did want to share my new idea but this post is too long already, so I'll do a separate one.

But for now, I shall believe in thyself.  =D


Title Info. Sheryl Crow


Buon Giorno,


ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Sunday 27 June 2010

12. Blame It

Whenever I get a little, well, a lot of liquor down my neck I get into this stupid mode of thinking about him. Don't you just hate that? I'm young, reasonably pretty in the face, smart, friendly, bubbly and loyal and yet I can't get out of my own way...I think I've lost my thread of thought.

Mmm...

Oh. He's got a girl now and a kid, and I tell myself  and whoever asks that I hate him and it's because of how much and how long I loved him. I act like I don't care when someone mentions his name but it irritates me, I don't want to know about him or hear about him. Does that mean I haven't moved on?

I think I have but now I'm just really cautious, I don't want to casually date, or link someone just to say I've been there and done that. I'd prefer to find the one, yes, I'm 23, some would say, especially my older brother that it was ambitious of me but I've always been ambitious. Besides, if I listened to my older B I'd be single until I was in my late thirties!

I want to be loved back, I want cuddles, conversation and laughter but I'm too scared to trust it could happen to me. After my sister getting so ill with Hodgkins, I realized that like everyone else out there you think it can't happen to you or it won't happen to someone in your family but it does and it did. It made a believer out of me, no one is exempt from devastations of the world, so why can't it work the other way round? I want to believe it can happen to me, just like Hodgkins happened to my best friend, my sister.

I don't know if any of this is making sense to anyone but it sounded like it did in my head, so I apologize in advance.

Am I too young to want a forever guy now? I don't know, but I want what I want and the freakin' spirits have only intensified the feelings I pushed down when I'm sober, not that I'm drunk right now. *cough*

My mum's only ever been with two guys her whole life, my dad and my step dad. Is it too much to want the same? My only worry is that I could've rejected him already, ignored or not noticed him, hell maybe I haven't even met him yet. I just hope I know in my heart when I do.

Blame this on the alcohol.



Title info. Jamie Foxx


Sleep well,


ThaWriterzSountrack.

Friday 25 June 2010

11. Man In The Mirror

I don't care what people say, Michael jackson was BAD! Who can top him, ever? There will never be another human being like this man.



Opinions are exactly that, and it's human nature that some of those narrow minded people would focus on the negative aspects of his life but I never wavered, I will always be a fan. People forget all the good things he did for people around the world that weren't his blood, for children that weren't his own and he made a difference to so many.

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson, my mum had all his records, our TV was black and white so we'd spend most of our time listening to music and he lifted us up. It's amazing what music can do to and for your soul, my sister who is only sixteen months younger than me told my mum at age 4 that'd one day she'd marry him. LOL - we watched 'Moonwalker' on video every day like it was a soap.

 I still  don't know which album is my favourite out of Bad and Thriller but I do know that his music will aways be a part of my life and so many others around the world.

I love you, Michael Jackson.



                                                        August 1958 - June 2009
                                                                         RIP
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10. Birthday Sex

It's my friend's birthday in a little less than three months and she asked me to write her an erotic story. <.<



I've never attempted to write a sex story...actually, that's a lie, I have attempted but I failed miserably each time. Ideally it would be more sensual than raunchy with an actual story at the heart of their sexcapade; it would be more playful and passionate than hard core because that's what would appeal to me as a reader. My friend though, also my sister in law is on the other side of the fence, and well it is her birthday but my sister says I should write it from the gut while implementing Lana Lang's smut. (She looks like the then 24hr damsel in distress and so the nickname was born)

I'd have to agree too, it's like a tattoo artist, if he couldn't tattoo dragons then he'd have someone else do the tattoo rather than doing it and not liking the result, it's him and his art first, and he then shares that art with everyone else. I feel that way about my writing, I don't care for smut though I have no qualms with anyone who does, I have a few friends who love smut and slash and all that other...stuff!

I don't always have to agree with my characters choices but I want to be able to feel like I understand the motivations that drive them towards those choices. I don't know if I'm over thinking this, I probably am but it's not just a little birthday story, it's my story, I'm writing it and I want to be happy with it.

Another hiccup is how I'm going to write it, 'He slipped his erect penis into her vagina' Heck no, that's too technical; this isn't a sex Ed class.

What about? 'He entered her' No! She's not a catflap for god's sake.

And finally, how about, 'He slid his c*** into her dripping p****? UGH! F*** no, I cringe when I read stories with those words, for one I hate those descriptions because it's like putting a wet cloth over a burning candle and two, it just sounds so trashy to me. I want sensual, warm, passionate fun and love making.

Cliche?

I don't give a shit, I'd rather melt over something sweet and maybe a tad cliche than cringe and get embarrassed by bold descriptive.

The last time I said the word 'fanny&willy' I was eleven so that's out too. Other words like vee-jay, bajingo, cunt, sex and core are just, well would you take them seriously if you read it in a sex/love scene? Exactly!

My sister's preferred description is my favourite 'life' I laugh so hard every time she tries to convince me to use it. 'He entered her life, slipped into her life,' God I love her! Half of my family should be in the nut house.

What's wrong with writing a couple play fighting in bed? I think that's sexy, without the sex.

So what do I do, huh? LOL - I'm going to just going write and go with the flow, every writer likes a challenge and I have been inspired lately to write something out of my comfort zone. After writing those horrible sex scenes, I shall redeem myself with witty banter, sensual teasing and sex without...sex? This doesn't have to be hard, I just have to channel my inner...freak? Every girl is one, with the right guy ;)

I got Drake's 'Thank Me Later' album for my birthday and I haven't stopped playing it since, his voice, his lyrics...He IS music! And believe it or not, he inspires my muse so let's hope I can come up with something that's a fine balance of mine and Lana's personalities.

I don't know why I always do this, stress before I need to. I've got months yet.


UPDATE: I know me too well, I was clearly in a snobbish mood and ended up ranting. I'm feeling a lot easier about writing this story, sex included and Lana better damn well like it. I still prefer to read than write stories with sex in it but whatever. I'm gone!



Title info. Jeremih



Peace,



ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Thursday 24 June 2010

9. Not Afraid

Well, I'm trying not to be.

So, I probably should've mentioned that I have been trying to get an acting gig at my local theatre; I've actually been on the waiting list for three years now. o.O I don't know if that's a hint, I've chased them up a couple of times but it's taken so long that I'm now too old for their summer workshops. I didn't want to just act in the theatre I wanted to produce some of the plays; I don't know what I was on thinking it was as simple as that.

However, I recently revisited their site and found a section titled 'New Writing,' so I signed up to the mailing list, they were putting together groups of young writers but you had to sign up to express interest. About a week after that I got a few emails, audition parts and experienced writing staff needed but I wasn't interested in the part being offered nor was I experienced in the field of playwriting.

In the month of May I think it was, I was sent an email with an application attached to be a part of a summer project and I literally jumped out of my chair, I filled in the application as best I could which included writing a monologue and creating a character profile. I sent it off and I'm telling you, as soon as I hit send I thought to myself "What are you doing? You're not going to get chosen for this."

I've sat there so many times though, watching rubbish TV and thinking I could write better and then as soon as I had the opportunity to prove it via email I lost my stones, ego or whatever you want to call it. It was only the first stage, answer a few questions and give a writing sample and suddenly I didn't write good enough to show someone who wasn't a friend or family member.

I felt a bit shit, I was scared to say aloud "What I sent was good," in case they told me otherwise. A Word of advice fellow writers...Screw what anyone says, I'm telling you here and now not to give a flying f*** about what people say. I knew it was good but I was being a baby. What if they don't like it? - So, what if they don't? At the end of the day all it means is that they don't like it, nothing more and nothing less.

I should've said "I think this pretty good but if they don't like it, I'll keep trying." As writers I think it's important that we adopt that kind of attitude because if you don't anything anyone says will crush your confidence and your spirit. Guess what? Not everyone is going to like you; it's the way the world works. No matter how good I think I am SOMEONE won't like me or my stories.

So anyway, that's what I should've been telling myself instead of being negative and feeling sorry for myself before I was even rejected. Long story short, after trying to convince my sisters I wasn't going to get an interview I forgot all about it and continued my writing. Well, as you know it was my birthday on the 22nd but I'm never allowed anywhere near the internet on such occasions so I was only able to check my mail yesterday.

What do I find? (Well done on your application. We will send your interview date this week. Once again many congratulations.) I cut that short but you get the drift, point is I didn't believe I was good enough and instead of just being happy for the interview op it was more bittersweet, I keep going in circles and my friend Rae tells me it's the writer's curse. I wholly agree with her (hahaha I said wholly - A year older? Who me? Nooo) there will be days when I feel like everything I write is shit and then there will be days where I feel like a genius. *cough* I'm thinking the real test is to learn how to love both, love the shitty moments and the wow I wrote that moments, right? That's what I think.

I already know my biggest problem is fear of rejection, but in a way I think if this channel does end up telling me I'm not what they're looking for right now that it'll be a blessing in disguise. Of course, if they were to offer me to the opportunity to write with eleven other writers my age to create an online drama I would be in a state of euphoria. It might seem small but to me it's a huge deal to have that experience under my belt, who knows where the drama could go? I'm not going to get ahead of myself, but whether I do well in the interview or not I will always write because it's who I am.

I might just go crazy and start writing to every network in London. After all, I did work briefly for channel 4 which was fun, I wonder if they'd remember me. Wasn't glamorous but c'mon...it was channel 4!

To close, I'll let you know that I did get my interview date and it's for June 29th which I've just realized is my nephews 4th birthday. I have to write a brief scene for a very popular soap before the interview and I've already written the outline so I need to get stuck into that, like now.

The point of this entry was to remind myself and to also tell YOU! Not to be afraid of the positive and good things in life, sometimes we spend so much time worrying about how long 'the good' is going to last that we don't enjoy it while it's here, we practically rush it away like a dirty secret we don't want anyone to find out about.

Rejection is good for the soul, it builds character.

Success is also good for the soul, it tests character.

See what I just did there? Am I wiser than my years or just a rambler? You decide. I'm not afraid.


Title info. Eminem


Da nos,


ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Tuesday 22 June 2010

8. Rehab

Hello,




I remember when I started this blog, it was so that discussing my writing would remind me to start that blasted series I've wanted to do for so long. I think it has so much potential to be my best work, and something that I can constantly improve and expand on!



I don't want to give away the whole thing, and that's because for some reason I think I'm actually good enough to be plagiarized, how that must sound...(Ugh, I abuse ellipses) but seriously, I'm not one of those writers who assumes just because they 'write' they're good, I write absolute rubbish sometimes. I hold my hands up; I'm still learning and always will be any writer will tell you that, right?



But, yes but. I'm blessed enough to have those rare moments where I actually write something amazing, to me anyway. This series that I've been dying to work on is one of those amazing moments, and I think I'm a little crazy to want post it online instead holding on to it in hopes of publications.



I have a few reasons for this.



1) I think someday I'll have a following, whether small and loyal or big and overwhelming I want readers to have something that is always available to them. I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself but that's the kind of person I am, I'm a dreamer. I can dream can't I?



If I was published, my online series would be accessible between published works and it would be something I was always working on because who knows how many series I can get out of it?



2) This is like an experiment, personal project, writing exercise. I want something that doesn't have a beginning, middle and end but an ongoing development that has time to grow and change, while the characters also grow and change little by little. Now, I know this how any story should go but a series doesn't have to have a set of specific events that lead you to the big ending. It’ll be a while yet.



3) I love my characters. The very first person I actually got to know was Nikki and I've been writing him since I was a teenager, along with him is his huge family, The Askatinos'. He has two younger brothers and the series is about them and their friends, Nikki will make an appearance in the near future but not in the beginning. Long story short, I love writing Nikki and now I want to write Izzy and Peyton.



4) The set up.



Behind The Bar: Isaiah aka Izzy works in a bar called 'Pitch Black' as a bartender along with best friend, Miller and Barmaid Korey. Their boss Davis who is too friendly and not enough bossy is short staffed and leaves it up to his trusty barmen to fill the spot before the big Ice Hockey game. That is the pilot I'm working on, each episode will be titled after a drink and there'll probably be about thirteen episodes a season, I'm going to have so much fun writing and researching for this. I get excited just talking about it, I’ve already set up two blogs, one for the series and the other is their diary blog, you might even get spoiler in their entries. ;)



You’d have to actually read the entries though. Hehe



Not that BTB was the reason for this post, what I wanted to say was that I'm proud to announce I've finished Rehab. After twenty-nine chapters, 110,000 words and a whole year later I have finally finished the emotional rollercoaster tale and really look forward to writing the sequel which is strictly for the family, they insisted. LOL – I’ve got some serious editing to do before I get back to my fantasy story. ‘Malfearia’



Any who, I've gone on so long it's past midnight and is now officially my birthday.





Happy Birthday to me!





Title info - Rihanna





Goodnight,





ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

7. Sundrenched World

Sundrenched World: The title of my latest 'Night Crawlers' chapter, I posted it on ffnet at about 2 or 3 in the morning and was absolutely knackered, not good to try and do any sort of editing when your brain has fried hours prior. Uri, my Uri has ended up featuring heavily in this chapter interacting with Stefan which I'm glad has gone down well, but most of the review rantings were about Damon and Bonnie's interactions. =D

It is a Bamon fic after all.

I myself am a huge fan of Bonnie and Damon, and the possiblities of them seeking comfort from each other, especially since 'Fool Me Once' with the revelation of the Tomb and Bonnie's great loss. I also love Stefan and to start with loved Elena, she had common sense but I'm not sure if it's the character who is now grating on my nerves or the actress. Her acting is a little sketchy, the whole falling against the door to cry and slamming her fists against the steering wheel, again to cry weren't her strongest moments.

I don't know, it's basically about her so I guess I'm gonna cut her a break and hopefully she'll improve otherwise watching the show will become a chore. I quite like the Elena I'm writing who is slightly more focused on her friendship with Bonnie and her relationship with Stefan, I love Stefan.

I kind of set my self up really because the books are about a girl being in love with two brothers, so the show's storyline is inevitable. o.O

I have this plot for Stefan, another VD story but I won't be writing it for a while because once Night Crawlers is finished, I'll be focusing on my original works again. And on top of that, one of my good friends who I call Andy has asked me to co-write a story with her so I'm a busy busy girl, I hardly get to relax anymore as I'm always doing something. I get a ton of banners and icon requests from writers, and I've been trying my hand at making videos too for various shows I'm into, I study and research and my least fav of all is the pile up of emails I get. *headache*

Plans for this evening, mmm, writing another chapter of 'Rehab' then I'll only have 2 or 3 left. :/


Title info. Joshua Radin


Goodnight,


ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Thursday 15 April 2010

6. The Writer

Yeah, it's been a while since I last posted but this time it's because the muse had a lot of steam to let off. I've been writing 'Rehab' which is only 3/4 chapters away from the end, it's very scary for me to be so close to finishing a story. I know it doesn't stop there, once I've written that last chapter I'll have to go back and edit, without going back I already know what parts of the story need to be rewritten etc.




I don't want to jinx myself, so I'm not going to pat myself on the back just yet. When I've finally written the last word, only then will I have broken the curse, though if I think about it I have finished longer stories just not original. I wrote a lot for Supernatural; being a fan from the very beginning I got the writing bug, and who wouldn't with the deeply scarred Winchester brothers and their paranormal lives?! Everyone loves heroes!



I'm not as confident about the story arc as I was in the previous seasons but I will always be a fan of the show, characters and creators, I will see it to the end. After all, it blessed me with the thirst to write again and to think outside of the box, explore other worlds and creatures, myths and legends. I've completed seventeen stories out of eighteen, five of which are multi-chaptered! I love fanfiction and I'm not ashamed to say it, I've read authors who should be published, and let's face it, if Stephenie Meyers could get published…so the talented fanfic writers should have nothing to worry about, it’s a great way to hone your writing skills.



My strength and weakness when it comes to writing both original and fanfiction is that I create complex storylines; it becomes my weakness when the story gets bogged down with too much mystery and not enough answers, well until the end. Now with this current fanfiction story I'm working on 'Night Crawlers' which is a story using the characters of Vampire Diaries and forcing them to interact with my original characters, Uri Osborne, Lily Osborne, Orlando and Laila Benjamin. It quickly became one of my more complicated attempts at supernatural because I'm integrating the back stories of my original characters.



Now, since I started posting I've developed quite a following which is a real good boost to my ego, a lot of readers are loving the intensity of it and the interaction between the characters, especially my accurate portrayal of the existing character. They comment on Damon, Stefan, Elena, Bonnie and Uri mostly. BUT! Yes, there is and always will be but when you're a writer. A few new readers are finding it difficult to understand, some are confused because of how much is going on but I undoubtedly know where this story is going and I'm pretty certain how it's going to end. How do I respond to the confused without giving what Uri has planned away?



Do I tell them; hey not to worry all will become clear soon? Or do I explain what will soon be explained as the story develops anyway? I hate that they're confused, and I can't blame them because I know sometimes I get carried away with my plots but honestly, I love this story and my characters and I just want my readers to enjoy it. It’s a little off putting when a few are like “I’m lost.” Annoyingly enough it’s always the reviews that are not so positive that stay on the mind for days.



So far five chapters are up and the sixth one is quite revealing of my main OC's possible motives but it's my intention to create doubt in the readers, he's generally not to be trusted but somehow he is still growing on the readers. LOL He makes their bones chill and yet they love to read him, I guess that's one thing to celebrate but I know a few readers personally, and what they expect from me is Uri to turn good which he's not capable of for long periods of time. Sorry guys! I’m an unpredictable writer, always have been. =D



Any who, it took me a long time to post chapter five and it did not go down well with the readers, so of course I'll have to clean six before I go hospital with my sister tomorrow, so she can get her line flushed and then read it again when I get back before I post. I hope everyone likes it and I seriously hope it answers enough of their questions for the time being.



And here I was thinking this would be a short post. HA





Title info. Ellie Goulding





Bonne nuit,





ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Sunday 28 March 2010

5. Jack Of All Trades

I had a lot of things I wanted to talk about yesterday, but yesterday turned out to be a bad day for me. I won't go into it, I don't want a drama blog but I would like to thank my best friend Bear aka M.E for being there for me literally at the drop of a hat and kicking my arse into shape, I love you for that. And I want to squish my other very close friend G.C too for also being around when I needed her, it's not often the people you revolve your life around are there when it counts, friends, family, lovers, so I definitely love you for saying 'HA' to my cynical side.



I confess I fully intended to bitch and moan about my life yesterday. The title was "Cry To Me.' I know, unforgivable. However, having given myself a day to remember why I wanted to keep this blog in the first place I realized I'd only be setting a precedent to cry my heart out, if anything I wanted to inspire and encourage, not leave anyone feeling all 'awww bless her' or 'Shut up, and quit whining' because the truth is everyone's life sucks sometimes, if we spent time dwelling on it every time then life would suck permanently.



So moving on, I was writing notes on a story, yes another one and not 'Rehab', wait a minute, let me explain? I was writing notes on this Urban Fantasy I've been dying to write, the adventure, the exploring of a different way, life, it fascinates me. Anyway, I wasted a little bit of my life when I signed into facebook to see what was on other peoples mind and found the update of a group I'd joined called 'The Writing Hall' to be very interesting. It was something like... Do you write for different genres, or do you stick to the same one?



I definitely like to venture into other genres, and if I'm honest I wouldn't have it any other way, I have an unruly muse and as a few friends have said an imagination outside the box, I'm not always as confident as I should be about my writing. My reason for this is simple, loved ones lie, I can understand why too, you want to encourage the people you love to prosper, and they need people to believe in them even when they don’t believe in themselves.



A perfect example is American Idol. Need I say more? Thousands of bad singers, and I mean the very best of the tone deaf singers audition every year on that show, they're taken the piss out of too, their sham auditions always overshadowing the good ones and all for ratings. Their families are constantly telling them they are good, that they can sing Mariah Carey, Whitney and Christina Aguilera songs when they can't even sing 'Twinkle Little Star' without getting pitchy. It's not good to lie to your closest, compliments gives confidence and criticism kind of deflates some of that confidence but ultimately we learn from the latter. I get that you want your child to believe that they can do anything, and why not right? But don't send them into the real world unprepared, give them options, show them the long road to achieving their dreams not the easy one. Audition on live TV. No, get singing lessons, train your voice, learn to play an instrument. Am I wrong?



So yeah, sometimes I question whether my family and friends love me too much to point out what doesn't work, and I understand it but we all need to strive to be better anyway no matter how good we 'think' we are!



I've gotta start learning to stay on topic, ugh. The point was, I write in as many as I can but after stumbling on an article titled 'Generalist' which is what I am, I found myself wondering if that is in fact a good thing.



Generalist VS Specialist



I have a friend who only writes romances, another who only writes horrors while I've done both on more than one occasion among other genres, I wouldn’t say I was perfect at either. Some compliment me on thinking outside the box and being full of so many fresh ideas I wonder if it is the reason I never finish any of my stories, in fact I don’t have to wonder. I don't give myself enough time to develop a niche in any particular genre, though I mostly attempt supernatural type stories recently.



Is it good to be a Generalist writer, or should we master one genre?



Generalists have short attention spans, check, but we can market to a broader audience. While being a specialist at something is important I think it limits you as a writer to be a specialist of one, I'd rather be a Jack of all trades and have a little knowledge about a lot of things, just enough to make me dangerous. LOL

I love letting my characters take control, and I love that my freak muse Clo can't even sit still let alone stick to one genre of writing. I don't finish stories because I'm not strong enough to let my babies go yet, to let them into the world to be judged, when I am you'll know about it.







Title info. None




Gece,




ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Tuesday 16 March 2010

4. Goodnight Goodnight

I've never been more tired, I can barely keep my eyes open but I really want to get another chapter of 'Rehab' done, I'm contemplating taking a nap for a few hours but it's already six in the evening. I already have trouble sleeping at night so I'm not sure it would be a good idea to sleep so early because then I'd wake up at some ungodly hour and be up till morning. Meanwhile, I'm not awake enough to write the twenty second chapter of 'Rehab' and make sense!!!



Argh, I write something every day even if it's not a full chapter and I just have a feeling that if I don't try and write something now I'll miss a day. This afternoon, my sister and I had to go to the hospital for her blood test, she has to have it day before Chemo which is every fortnight but we're in there every week anyway because she has a Hickman line that needs to be flushed regularly to avoid any blood clots forming. These appointments leave me completely shattered and I'm not even the one getting treatment, I don't know how she does it, my sister. I have a great of respect and admiration for her, she's been receiving treatment for over a year now and it's been the toughest year of our lives but she still keeps strong. We've grown so close to her personal nurses who aren't incredibly older than us, the most is ten years but I don't feel the gap and I was saying to my sis, either they're too young to be old or we're too old to be young. I definitely think it's the latter, I think I've always been an old soul, my friends  have always been older than me and I was dubbed the agony aunt more than once. LOL

Of the two nurses, one went on holiday to Australia for a month which was a bummer for us because we get on with her so well, she does 'Porkies' impressions that leave us in tears and then there is the other one who is so adorable and with the times, unlike nurse backpacking who doesn't even have internet and just bought her first iPod, we were very proud. I should really find cover names for them, hmm, from now on let's call 'Porkie' obsessed Kelly and adorable Patsy. Patsy is a total Sci fi nerd like me and when she found I wrote she was squeeing, we exchanged emails and I started sending her chapters of my Sci fi story which she's loving and has already resorted to threatening me to get the others to her.
I also ran into an old friend, he's a writer too and we agreed to swap stories but because I'm such a disorganized existence I forgot to and now I'm realizing it's been a few months. The plan is to do that after my chapter but right now I've gotta go make some food because I'm hungry, hopefully it keeps me awake longer. LOL


Tile info. Maroon 5



Adieus,



ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

3. Trouble

I really wish I didn't get so hung up on titles; it's always been an issue of mine. I sat here for the best part of fifteen minutes wondering what I should title this entry, because obviously, I'm a little obsessive when it comes to them and character names etc.

I weigh myself down with details that could probably be filled in later; I don't know what it is. I like spending time on those things because I think it's as important as the story, it's what represents what you're going to read (sometimes). I like my titles to be a little vague so that readers don't really know what to expect, if I title my story something like "Love & Basketball" then you can assume it's about falling in love and playing basketball.

"Cruel Intentions," Oo, I guess someone is going to intentionally be a bitch to everyone, so cruel. I like titles like 'Awake' or 'Almost' the latter is mine, I like to create a enough room for theories and ideas on what it could be about, I know when I've seen titles like the ones I just mentioned I go into prediction mode and end up creating a whole story that has nothing to do with the story itself. Of course, then I keep the idea and it goes in my plot bunny folder.

Seriously, if I haven't said it before nice to meet you, I'm a complete scatterbrain who had an actual reason to post tonight and somehow it became about titles.

Mmmh, it was probably about how professional I am at procrastinating as I've successfully done it again. Yay me! I'm currently working on a story 'Rehab,' yeah, not vague at all, or is it? LOL I've been writing it since last summer, a little before my birthday and it's finally coming to an end, I'm thinking it will be wrapped in another 10,000 words.

The trouble with me is (notice how I made use of track name? LOL) I start a story and it gains momentum, I'm excited and it's flowing, the characters voices are clear as bells...then the ending reveals itself to me and all of a sudden I'm not writing anymore, I have other ideas I could be working on or fanfic stories I need to post. Why I do this? I have no idea, I started another story last year, for the NanoWrimo challenge and won thankfully, it's called 'WIPS' I know, right? I've hit 70,000 words and I can feel the end coming, guess what? I'm not writing it at the moment. I do not finish any of my stories, unless you count the short ones that are usually no longer than 10,000 words, right now I suck at committing to one story and it's frustrating as hell. And no, I've never actually been to hell, don't ask me stupid questions?

Did I mention I had issues?

Well, I'm barely awake so time for bed. I'd like to blame lethargy for this all over the place entry, but alas it's all me.

Title Info. Ray Lamontagne.

Gute Nacht,

ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

Sunday 14 March 2010

2. Mother's Day!

I was planning on updating this blog yesterday but my brother came over, and I haven't seen him for a few weeks so I did what those close to me would say was impossible, I shut down the laptop. Yep, craziness!

We hung out, which is always fun and watched a couple videos. Specifically, battle videos on Grind Time which are really good, I definitely prefer rap battles over actual rap music in the industry right now. We also watched a couple of videos on youtube 'Human Body' Muay Thai, I found it especially interesting as my brothers take Muay Thai twice a week, some of the moves and the devastating damage it can do was both fascinating and scary. I've always loved Kung fu movies, grew up watching it with my parents, brother and sister at the time so there aren't many Kung Fu movies I haven't seen.

 I myself have always been interested in taking lessons but I'm not sure which would suit me, I'd like to do mixed material arts and learn a bit of a lot styles. But, right now I'm considering Taekwondo, Ninjutsu and Wing chun.

On another note, my sister and I have successfully converted my brother into a Vampire Diaries fan, my cousin was here too so we put on the first one and by the end of the second one, they were hooked. Romance isn't usually my brother's thing, but he's a fan of bad guys and that's what Damon is, he also likes the possiblity of Stefan's struggle not to want blood. He may not feed on humans anymore but seriously, he always looks like he wants to, he can't help how he reacts to the sight and smell and so there's always that risk that he'll fall off the wagon, and I look foward to it.

Anyway, enought about that. I really wanted to post tonight to wish every mother out there a Happy Mother's day! My mother is very special to me, she's the strongest woman I've ever known and I aspire to be half the person she is, my sister and I lay in bed this morning and we were laughing when he realized how many children she actually has. By blood she has five kids, four girls and a boy but she has soo much more by heart and it's incredible. Admittedly, I'm not always a happy bunny when it comes to sharing her but our family has become so much bigger, it brings me great joy to know and see how many people love my mum and thank God everyday for her being in their lives. The people she's helped, taken in, given a second chance and the lives that she's changed for the better truly makes me so proud to be her daughter.

I love you, mummy!

Hugs to all the mama's around the globe.

Ja matta ne,

ThaWriterzSountrack.

Friday 12 March 2010

1. Intro

So I decided it was time for me to actually use my blog, I had/have one previous to this called "BehindTheBar" It's a series I've started but haven't gotten round to polishing up and publishing. I didn't want poor Izzy to fade into the background so I figured creating a blog would keep my plans to continue fresh, with me talking about it I'm less likely to forget.

Thing is, I'm a writer, a good one at that but alas I'm a disorganized, scatterbrained mess with the long term goal of being published one day! I've been writing since I can remember and boy do I remember, there was a time when everything I wrote was cringe worthy, cliche garbage but in my defense when you're a young teen it's hard to separate yourself and what you want from the characters and what they need. I had that very problem, you can guess my favourite genre was romance, where I unintentionally *Scouts honour* created a Mary Sue or two who got everything she wanted, most time including the guy.

Now when reading back, I cringe and get all embarrassed about the stuff that I came up with but I'm also quite chuffed with myself for noticing a vast difference in my writing. I still write romance but having grown out of corny long ago, most of the romance I do write is quite the opposite now that I know where my characters are going and what their motivations are. {Insert tip} The most important thing in any story is conflict, it's not realistic to have characters, especially the MC liked or loved by everybody because life isn't like that.


Anywho, before I totally digress on my introduction. I'm a writer with more than a few ambitions, hobbies, quirks, dreams, strengths and weaknesses and I plan to write about them in this blog.

Ciao,

                                                                                                                            ~ ThaWriterzSoundtrack