Saturday, 10 July 2010

14. All I Do Is Win


Today was interesting, I woke up feeling good, now to some that would sound odd but for me it doesn't happen often at all, I usually have to thaw out during the day, I rarely wake up feeling bright and ready for the world. So, I expected an email as you know from a producer I've been speaking to about writing for but I haven't heard anything back and it's friday.

I'm to assume I didn't get the writer's position, I think I hyped up fear of rejection so much that when it finally happened it didn't feel as bad as I thought that it would. I mean, yeah I'm bummed but I'm not devastated, I really wanted the opportunity to have the BBC under my belt of writing experience but it didn't work out that way. I did the same when getting my tattoo, I kept going on about how much it was going to hurt and when I sat down though it burned I didn't want to run away from it, the pain was bearable.

So why was I in a good mood? Professionally, it was my first rejection. I haven't recieved my rejection email as yet but after a week I know where it's going, and like I said in my last post I think it was rejection builds character. If I wasn't me, I would want to see what I was going to do next, after this black mark on my confidence? LOL

Hmm, I guess I'm going to keep writing like I said I would, if writing wasn't me than I would've given up a very long time ago, but the producer said when she emailed me about the interview that my writing was really good, and I should be glad to have gotten an interview because of how many applicantions they got. C'mon, feedback from someone who has written for theatre and is now the producer of an iconic soap's spin off? I'm pretty pleased with myself, it was validation that I am indeed a good writer. *Collective sighs* Yes, I know, my friends have told me and my family have told me, but I discussed them in an earlier post, sometimes the ones that love you lie.

So I've decided, I'm going to learn how to screenwrite, yep I want it on my list of 'Accomplishments' I'm still a novelist but I want to write a script, I actually started out writing scripts because I didn't know how to write novels correctly.

Nikki - Shut the hell up, was I talking to you?

Bryce - Well no, but I thought I should explain...

Nikki - Don't explain, leave me alone.

Bryce - Alright, fine.

Nikki - Fine.

Bryce - You want the last word, don't you?"

Nikki - That's usally how it works.

Nikki and Bryce walk separate way.

See, my script was pure dialogue and a little direction and not much of anything else, I just made that little scene up as an example but yeah, that's pretty much all I wrote, a bunch of conversations. Now, I want to learn how to structure a script correctly, and who knows I might just send some of them out for the fun of it without the secret 'hope' it becomes something more, I think I'd get a kick out them being sent back with a note or two. *shrug*

The end of a chapter, an experience, an opportunity. I'm moving on, while resisting the urge to write the boring story of a writer who tried to become a TV writer, LOL - Just kiddin' I couldn't sit through a boring story, even if I was the one writing it.

In other news, just a random declaration of love for Ed Norton. I like him as an actor, but there's also something about his face that I really like and I don't even know what it is. To name a few movies of his I liked, Fight Club of course, American History X (Even though he was a racist bitch throughout most it) Down the Valley? And Hulk.

Lastly, I'm a funny girl, and when I say that I'm not talking about making people laugh, I mean I have my ways about me that are, I don't know, odd. Well, if I told my sister what I'm about to tell you then she'd probably tell me...actually you don't want to know what she'd tell me because she's the devil on my shoulder.

Getting to the point, I usually write short scenes or do a quick collabrative story with someone when I've got mind block and I asked a friend if she'd be willing to write something out with me, she agreed which I was happy about and although we didn't set a specific time we pretty much knew when it was going to happen. Well, when it came to that time she didn't say anything and neither did I, you might say I should've just mentioned it again, reminded her of our agreement but here's where the funny comes in to it. I can't, and if she doesn't mention it I will never bring it up again, is that silly? Am I too proud?

I'm not sure I know what it is but if I ask someone to do something and they don't, for me that's the end of it and I move on and do what I have to do on my own. I'm not saying she's deliberately not bringing it up, I don't think she'd do that, she could even be waiting for me to bring it up again but I won't, I've always been this way.

I don't ask twice.

I think it's me automatically feeling like a burden once I've asked again, and it's also me not wanting to have to. Who knows? It's probably some deep seated child hood issue I haven't dealt with yet.

Right, so...challenge: Script

Why do I want to write a script?

Because I'm a writer and always will be, one day someone read and then I'll write some more until someone buys and sells, it's getting up and dusting my arse off after a 'No, Thank you' that makes me a winner.

Title Info. DJ Khaled.

Good Night, Good Morning,


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