27. At Last

“I think that to write well and convincingly, one must be somewhat poisoned by emotion. Dislike, displeasure, resentment fault-finding, imagination, passionate remonstrance, a sense of injustice–they all make fine fuel.” – Edna Ferber

FYI Writing is very hard, and no, I'm not just figuring it all out now, I thought it better to say aloud to get it off my chest. I don't think anyone chooses to write, if it's in you, it takes you and there is nothing you can do about it, so shut up and do as the voices say.

                        (I blurred the last line of the story, I have friends reading this blog, you know?)

I have two main reasons for writing this blog, firstly...

While I think it is pitiful that this is my first post of the New Year, I do have a good reason, and that reason is obviously writing related. In my previous post  This Woman's Work I spoke about completing Nanowrimo. The good news is I think so far I've been able to keep the discipline it enforced, by writing consistently and swallowing back the excuses I've got a lot done, hence no blog posts. I finished the Freak Shows!!!

26. This Woman's Work

Yatta! (I did it – Thank you, Hiro) 

I completed the Nano challenge four or five minutes before we hit Tuesday 22nd and for the first time in, I don't know how long, I was able to fall asleep within seconds of dragging my arse to bed. This month was definitely tough and I hate how much pressure I put on myself to do a certain count each day. Nano was challenge enough and then I added to it, yes I finished early but because I really don't like the thought of not finishing a deadline on time.


Nano in 2012? I’ve proved to myself that with enough discipline I can deliver, I can hammer out thousands of words and even finish a novel. I’m not sure I need to prove that to myself every year, what I do hope is the habit of writing consistently, swallowing back excuses and repeating positive mantras such as ‘keep going’ continue well after Nano is over.

25. Many The Miles

On your marks, get set...

I love Sara Bareille; she makes beautiful music like 'Breathe Again' and inspiring music like Many The Miles which I chose for the title of my post today. I joined Nano in 2009 and wrote and completed a novel called 'WIPS' about, you guessed it, a writer who never finished anything. But, because of stresses I sat out last year, this year I'm jumping back on the bandwagon with a new title 'Freak Shows' which is a young adult, slightly dark themed adventure.

Although I won't have time to post about my progress on nano, you can check my profile on there. It has a word count scoreboard. I don't think there is anyone who doesn't know about Nano by now, unless you're not a writer and have no writers in your family, but in short you have to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days.


I think it looks a little arrogant of me not to post a synopsis, it looks as though I don't want my idea stolen, because as original as you think your idea is, it really isn't, everything has been done before. My problem is writing a synopsis that engages you without giving away the best part so until then; I'm leaving it blank, because no summary is better than a bad one.

Check out Sara's music, she's great.

Title info. Mentioned in post

Ciao x

24. Hope For Now

City and Colour.

I can't remember when I actually discovered City and Colour, I know it was sometime last year but his music touches me so deeply. The lyrics, it's like he's talking to me and understands exactly how I feel. It probably sounds silly but I feel as though we're going through this hard time together.

Hope For Now is one of my favourite songs, along with 'Grand Optimist' and well his whole album is beautiful, but those stick out the most.

 Check him out

I miss God

She's not here anymore. I'm barely here. Nothing means anything to me, and I don't want anyone to tell me to move on or tell me 'you'll be alright' because it's a lie.

When you spend 23 years of your life next to someone, protecting them, loving them, growing with them, learning from them, when they go, there's no filling the HOLE.

23. Numb

I’ve never seen so much bravery, courage and strength in one person in my life, she’s a warrior, I call her my Phoenix.

She's my hero.

Even after everything Khim's been through, chemo for two years, two transplants, four hickmans, a pick line, hear loss four times, steroids, eighty something lava liquid needles, infections, bloating, mouth sores, over a hundred blood tests and now an NG tube. You can't tell me that's not heroic.




Title Info. Barcelona



Never goodbye, just see you later.

22. Breathe Me

Recently I've found I am asking myself the same question "What type of person are you?" Because there are only two types in my book, the ones who talk and the ones who do and I've never liked those kind of people who only give a good lip service. The reason why I don't like them is because once you've learned a certain attitude it's hard to unlearn and I've always said you are who you surround yourself with! I'm a sponge, I've said it many times before, I'll soak up absolutely everything until I'm ready to explode and that's no-ones fault but mine, it's just how I am...

The point of this post? I've become a lip service. The worst thing is I'm only lip servicing myself, I wanted to review some of my favourite TV shows inbetween updating 'Night Crawlers' on ffnet and making banners for a cool website 'Bringing TVD to Canada' - Now with the artwork, it's been pretty difficult cause there has been snow and that equals bad internet connection!!!

What is my excuse for not writing?! I write everyday even if it can only be a few hundred words, I WRITE!

Currently, I'm doing nothing I set out to do, I'm finishing nothing I started and I keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow.

A week or more after my sister's 22nd birthday Oct 21st we learned that the Hodgkins Lymphoma was back, after about six solid months free of the diease it is claiming our lives again, she's barely an adult and she's having to go back to battle. I don't know if it's the unfairness of it all, the anger or fear that keeps me from being able to do the things that pump blood to my heart but I know there is no focus for anything else right now.

I want to get myself back on track, I want to be her armour, the support and strength that she needs but somehow I don't think a cold shower will do the trick. I know that writing has always been my support, my armour and strength, I just desperately need to find my way back to it because I've learned that my writing also helps her, most importantly we all feel healed by it.

This title is so fitting because I feel like this so often. I hope whoever is reading this if anyone that you actually take the time to check out the songs I name my posts after. I never pick songs randomly, they have all affected me in some way or another.

'Breathe Me' - For me this song speaks of my relationship with writing, my connection and how I'm affected when I'm disconnected from it.


Lyrics.

How I feel about myself - Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame



How I feel about my writing - Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me



Without writing - Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Go listen to the amazing song, and if you like, tell me why it affects you? Music speaks to all of us differently.

Title Info. Sia

Night,

ThaWriterzSoundtrack.

21. My Vampire Heart

This an old post that I actually forgot to publish, so here it is.

A while has passed without a post, want to know what I've been doing? If the title is anything to go by you're already pretty sure what I'm going to talk about but I'm going to make this super quick.

1) I may or may not have mentioned that my baby was freezing excessively, so a bit of a advice for you, don't ever buy a Dell laptop.

2) Thank the heavens for my Blackberry, it's where all my chapters have been going until my baby is fixed.

3) I've started updating 'Night Crawlers' again, and I know exactly how it ends in my head but since baby has been throwing tantrums I haven't been able to update my latest chapter.

4) I applied to be a fan columnist on BuddyTV and didn't get it but I'm still smiling, I wanted the experience and enjoyed reviewing Smallville's comeback although I would've prefered my favourite vampire show. I was encouraged to try again when another opportunity arises.

5) My social life is somewhat back on track, meeting up with friends and hanging out bla bla.

6) Since I've turned my attention to scripts, I've been getting more ideas than I can use and it's exciting to daydream about one day having my own show. LOL - impossible is nothing, right?

On the real reason I wanted to post...

The Vampire Diaries - The Return

Yeah, I know a vampire show but unlike Glee I'm not slightly embarrassed and annoyed with myself for kind of liking it. If I didn't mention it before, Ian Somerhalder was my reason for watching, I've been watching the man since I was fifteen when he was in young Americans and I would die if he ever ended up playing my Avery Grim. ARGH!

Anyway, to my actual surprise I liked it instantly and not just because of Damon but because of the writing, it was fast pace and exciting and suspensful, good. The second half of the season had me well and truly hooked to an obssessive level, by obssessive I mean, watching live streams online so I could watch it with the rest of America instead of waiting for England to catch up.

The final minute of the finale was insane and the premiere of season 2 was even more crazy and I mean that in a completely good way. I was on the edge of my seat, sitting next my sister at one in the morning, while we grabbed on to each other every other minute in absolute shock, I loved every minute of it. Also, being a fan of Damon and Bonnie's partnership in the books, I was pleased to see they had a couple scenes in this episode not that the banter lasted.

Now we're heading towards episode four but thus far my favourite episode is the third 'Bad Moon Rising' and amazingly it's not because Damon and Elena were together for the whole thing with the addition of Alaric quite the contrary, I loved it because of the ones who were still in Mystic Falls. That is for another post though, I fully intend to write a review about it so I can fan girl over my favourite parts again, particularly the parts with Tyler and uncle Mason.

When it comes to vampires, why are we so easy to reel in? Well let's see, they're sexy immortals who are charming enough to lure you into a dark alley before rutlessly drainging the life out of you, we're attracted to the danger, the mystery and sometimes the soul within a monster.


Title info. Tom McRae.

Laterz,

ThaWriterzSoundtrack.